Thursday, April 08, 2010

It's our anniversary

So our anniversary is really tomorrow but since we are having 28 people over to celebrate Christ rising from the dead we celebrated last night by going to a hotel and picking up Ashley from the airport this morning! It was fun even though I am still very much in pain and tired (I have a swollen pancreas due to a gall stone going through and can't eat real food yet). We chilled out and watched tv and movies and laughed and remember the last 13 years, married 12, dating a year before. We have grown and it so great that we are able to honest with each other and love being together even when I am a bummer and not feeling well.

So now to the Easter plans. I am so excited although not able to eat much but family, laughter and remember God's greatest gift His son will be awesome. I am so glad my family is whole again and that we have each other!

On a side note, I meet with a surgeon on Monday to see what the next step is, possibly the gall bladder out.

From Random Thoughts of Kindness.

Friday, April 02, 2010


Yup! I think I'm back to my good old days...watching korean series again! ha!ha!

Oh My Lady - It stars Chae Rim ( from my fave Dalja's Spring) and Choi Si Won ( a member of the famous korean boy group, Super Junior). I must admit that even if I'm aware of the existence of Super Junior and I've watch my fave Sorry Sorry music video for a zillion times now, I really haven't noticed Choi Si Won until I watched the first episode of Oh My Lady. ha!ha! I guess there are just a lot of guys in the group that I failed to notice him. Anyway, after that, I immediately watched again SJ's music videos just to see Si Won. It's like watching the videos for the first time! ha!ha!

As for the series, the first episode was so interesting and funny that I think I'm gonna get hooked with this one till the end. I'm also actually curious if love with blossom from these two people since Chae Rim plays a 35-year old divorced mother and Si Won plays a twenty-something Korean celebrity.

From Cougar Is In

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Relative Esoterica

From Turpentine and Truth

I was watching Warner Brothers' not insignificantly flawed but immensely atmospheric The Two Mrs. Carrolls.

Sally Carroll (Barbara Stanwyck), having gushed into an upper-floor studio, freezes, instantly sick and horrified at the sight of Geoffrey, her artist spouse (Humphrey Bogart), assiduously and zealously going over a canvas with a turpentine-soaked rag.
Sally: Geoffrey, what are you doing?
Geoffrey: Something I should have done weeks ago – I'm sick of looking at it – it was phony.
Sally: Oh, Sweetheart, you shouldn't have done that – you might not think it's so good, but someone might have bought it.
Geoffrey: Well, I don't care what other people think – it's what I think.
Sally: But you thought it was good once.
Geoffrey: That's why I know I'm slipping.
Sally: You can't always paint masterpieces.
Geoffrey: Well, I can always try.
Barbara ... Babs ... Missy ... Sally – don't get me wrong – my sympathies are with you in the grand scheme of this little Warner Brothers drama. But your crazy, murderous, obnoxious, implacable husband is right, here: If you're an artist – heck, even if you're not an artist, but merely a person of integrity – you can't shove something out, to which you feel no sense of attachment or commitment, on the hope or assumption that no one will recognize its inauthenticity or feel its counterfeitness and that people will clamour to buy it, blinded by its slick, shiny veneer.

Sure, you know they may buy it, purchase it, with money. But ultimately, in another more important sense, they won't buy it – they'll become aware of its absence of credibility. You know that – as an artist, a human being – and you can't be associated with something that is simply "product," statement without substance. Even if you have no pretensions to producing masterpieces, you can't put out intentionally small, modest things – you can't release words – that are just puffs, hollow. You have to omit – or keep the turpentine handy.

Funny that a no-good bum but ego-maniacal character like Geoffrey Carroll could see this much.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Where are we now?

The Chaplain Candidate Valentine Party

Here's a shot of the Chaplain Candidate Valentine Party. We had to dress like a couple. Ryan really wanted to go as Muhhamed but I told him he could only go with his one wife, not five. SO, we went as Abraham and Sarah--because I feel like I'm having twins!

From Where are we now?

All is temporary

It’s where they create the ghosts

"You think I'm crazy? And if I say I'm not crazy, that hardly helps does it? That's the genius of it. People tell the world you're crazy. And all your protest to the contrary just confirms what they're saying."
"I'm not following you, I'm sorry."
"Once you are called insane, then anything you do is just a part of your insanity. Reasonable protest, or denial. Fears. Paranoia."
"Survival instincts are defense mechanisms."

"Do you know how pain enters the body, Marshall? Do you?"
"It depends on where you hurt."
"No. It has nothing to do with flesh. The brain controls pain. The brain controls fear, empathy, sleep, hunger, anger, everything. What if you could control it?.. Recreate a man so he doesn't feel pain, or love, or sympathy. A man who can't be interrogated because he has no memories to confess."
"You can never take away all of a mans memories. Never."

"Let me ask you, any past traumas in your life?"
"Yes. Why? Why would that matter?"
"Because it's your reason you lost your path. Your reason for your insanity. So when they commit you here, your friends and colleagues will say of course he cracked. Who wouldn't have?"
"They can say that about anyone. Anyone at all."
"The point is, they're going to say it about you."

"I can get you off this island."
"Haven't you heard anything I said? You'll never leave here."
"I have a friend, I was with him yesterday but we got separated, have you seen him?"
"Marshall, you have no friends."

Read more at All Is Temporary

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Pauliemac’s World

Passages of Time

My son's birthday was yesterday. He turned 12 years old. I have not seen him the past 11 years. The decision I made then was the right one for then, but it is not the right one for now. Yet I have to live with the consequences of the decision made then as the hurdles I have given to be a part of his life now are just too great for me to overcome. I hope his birthday was a joyous one and if he spent even one second wondering where his father is, I want him to know I am here and did think of him, as I do each and every day of our lives. Some may think it is impossible to miss a child you have not seen for 11 years, who was only slightly over a year old the last time you saw them, but it is possible. And very painful. One more burden to carry, one more desire left unfulfilled.